src: expose granular SetIsolateUpForNode

This PR exposes a new embedder-focused API: SetIsolateUpForNode.
It maintains previous behavior for the single-param version of
SetIsolateUpForNode and changes no defaults, but was designed to be
flexible by allowing for embedders to conditionally override all
callbacks and flags set by the previous two-param version of
SetIsolateUpForNode.

PR-URL: https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/30150


Reviewed-By: Gus Caplan <me@gus.host>
Reviewed-By: Anna Henningsen <anna@addaleax.net>
Reviewed-By: Franziska Hinkelmann <franziska.hinkelmann@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: David Carlier <devnexen@gmail.com>