messaging: fix edge cases with transferring ports

Currently, transferring the port on which postMessage is called causes a
segmentation fault, and transferring the target port causes a subsequent
port.onmessage setting to throw, or a deadlock if onmessage is set
before the postMessage. Fix both of these behaviors and align the
methods more closely with the normative definitions in the HTML
Standard.

Also, per spec postMessage must not throw just because the ports are
disentangled. Implement that behavior.

PR-URL: https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/21540


Reviewed-By: Anna Henningsen <anna@addaleax.net>
Reviewed-By: James M Snell <jasnell@gmail.com>