http: align with stream.Writable

Futher aligns OutgoingMessage with stream.Writable. In particular
re-uses the construct/destroy logic from streams.

Due to a lot of subtle assumptions this PR unfortunately touches
a lot of different parts.

PR-URL: https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/36816


Reviewed-By: Matteo Collina <matteo.collina@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: Benjamin Gruenbaum <benjamingr@gmail.com>