crypto: make node_crypto_bio compat w/ OpenSSL 1.1

This is cherry-picked from PR #8491 and then tidied up. The original had
an unnecessarily large diff and messed up some public/private bits.

PR-URL: https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/16130


Reviewed-By: Ben Noordhuis <info@bnoordhuis.nl>
Reviewed-By: Rod Vagg <rod@vagg.org>