errors: make message non-enumerable

A error message should always be non-enumerable. This makes sure
that is true for dns errors as well. It also adds another check
in `common.expectsError` to make sure no other regressions are
introduced going forward.

Fixes #19716

Backport-PR-URL: https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/19191
PR-URL: https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/19719
Fixes: https://github.com/nodejs/node/issues/19716


Reviewed-By: Joyee Cheung <joyeec9h3@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: Luigi Pinca <luigipinca@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: Trivikram Kamat <trivikr.dev@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: James M Snell <jasnell@gmail.com>