esm: exit the process with an error if loader has an issue

Previously, this would trigger an unhandled rejection that the user
cannot handle.

Fixes: https://github.com/nodejs/node/issues/30205

PR-URL: https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/30219


Reviewed-By: Guy Bedford <guybedford@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: Colin Ihrig <cjihrig@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: Anna Henningsen <anna@addaleax.net>
Reviewed-By: Yongsheng Zhang <zyszys98@gmail.com>