src: add flags for controlling process behavior

PR-URL: https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/40339


Reviewed-By: Anna Henningsen <anna@addaleax.net>
Reviewed-By: Michael Dawson <midawson@redhat.com>
Reviewed-By: James M Snell <jasnell@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: Shelley Vohr <shelley.vohr@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: Minwoo Jung <nodecorelab@gmail.com>