test: assert on client and server side seperately

This gets better coverage of the codes, and is more explicit. It also
works around ordering differences in the errors produced by openssl.
The approach was tested with 1.1.0 and 1.1.1, as well as TLSv1.2 vs
TLSv1.3. OpenSSL 1.1.0 is relevant when node is built against a shared
openssl.

PR-URL: https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/25381


Reviewed-By: Daniel Bevenius <daniel.bevenius@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: Shigeki Ohtsu <ohtsu@ohtsu.org>
Backport-PR-URL: https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/25688