doc: add note about ABI compatibility

Building node against versions of the dependencies that differ from the
ones we vendor will result in a non ABI compatible version of Node.js

This patch adds a note to make it explicit that if individuals build
node against different versions of a dependency they should make a
custom NODE_MODULE_VERSION.

PR-URL: https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/22237


Reviewed-By: Vse Mozhet Byt <vsemozhetbyt@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: Jon Moss <me@jonathanmoss.me>
Reviewed-By: Benjamin Gruenbaum <benjamingr@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: James M Snell <jasnell@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: Trivikram Kamat <trivikr.dev@gmail.com>