esm: modify resolution order for specifier flag

Currently `--es-module-specifier-resolution=node` has an alternative
resolution order than the default in common.js, this causes
inconsistencies. As discussed in @nodejs/modules we want to preserve
resolution order between implementations.

PR-URL: https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/29974


Reviewed-By: Jan Krems <jan.krems@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: Guy Bedford <guybedford@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: James M Snell <jasnell@gmail.com>