tls: migrate C++ errors to internal/errors.js

* Throw ERR_TLS_SNI_FROM_SERVER when setting server names on a
  server-side socket instead of returning silently
* Assert on wrap_->started and wrap_->ssl instead of throwing
  errors since these errors indicate that the user either uses
  private APIs, or monkey-patches internals, or hits a bug.

PR-URL: https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/18125


Reviewed-By: Anna Henningsen <anna@addaleax.net>
Reviewed-By: Fedor Indutny <fedor.indutny@gmail.com>
Reviewed-By: James M Snell <jasnell@gmail.com>