src,deps: add ABI safe use of CheckMemoryPressure

CheckMemoryPressure cannot be used ABI-safely from v8.h. Add a alternate
implementation of AdjustAmountOfExternalAllocatedMemory and then use
that from Node.

PR-URL: https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/24499


Reviewed-By: Anna Henningsen <anna@addaleax.net>
Reviewed-By: Yang Guo <yangguo@chromium.org>
Reviewed-By: Myles Borins <myles.borins@gmail.com>