[smart_holder] Unique ptr deleter roundtrip tests and fix (#4921)

* Roundtrip through unique pointer with custom deleter.

Currently failing.

* Ensure the custom deleter is copied back to the unique pointer.

Feels like there's still a gap around the raw pointer flavour, but this at least
makes the unit test of the previous commit succeed.

* Add deleter roundtrip for const atyp.

Currently failing, custom deleter is lost.

* Fix storing deleter for const unique ptr.

Unit test from the previous commit passes.

* Remove SFINEA deleter assignment.

At the construction of the smart holder, it is either a del_fun, or a default constructed deleter, so this complexity is unnecessary.

* Clang format.

* Fixes for ci.

Clang 3.6 requires the extra constructors in the custom_deleter.

* fix(smart_holder): Loosen requirement on deleter to be default constructible.

And some other PR feedback.

* fix(smart_holder): Custom deleter in unit tests traces constructions.

* fix(smart_holder): Use pybind11_fail instead of assert.

* fix(smart_holder): Add unit tests for the default constructible deleter.

* fix(smart_holder): Use regex matching for deleter constructors in unit tests.