Use sysconfig in Python >= 3.10 (#3764)

* Use sysconfig in Python >= 3.10

Rely on sysconfig for installation paths for Python >= 3.10. distutils
has been deprecated and will be removed.

Fixes: #3677

* Explicitly select the posix_prefix scheme for platinclude on Debian

Debian's default scheme is posix_local, for installing locally-built
packages to /usr/local/.  We want to find the Python headers in /usr/,
so search posix_prefix.