Provide `PYBIND11_NO_ASSERT_GIL_HELD_INCREF_DECREF` as an option (#4753)

* Remove GIL checks

* Update common.h

* Add flag

* style: pre-commit fixes

* Update pytypes.h

* style: pre-commit fixes

* Update common.h

* style: pre-commit fixes

* Update pytypes.h

* style: pre-commit fixes

* Update common.h

* style: pre-commit fixes

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Co-authored-by: pre-commit-ci[bot] <66853113+pre-commit-ci[bot]@users.noreply.github.com>