[mlir][sparse][gpu] refine SDDMM pattern for cuSPARSE

Old pattern was missing some cases (e.g. swapping the arguments)
but it also allowed too many cases (e.g. non-empty "absent" or
different arguments for add/mul). This fixes the issues.

Reviewed By: K-Wu

Differential Revision: https://reviews.llvm.org/D153487