[libc++] Overhaul how we select the ABI library

This patch overhauls how we pick up the ABI library. Instead of setting
ad-hoc flags, it creates interface targets that can be linked against by
the rest of the build, which is easier to follow and extend to support
new ABI libraries.

This is intended to be a NFC change, however there are some additional
simplifications and improvements we can make in the future that would
require a slight behavior change.

Differential Revision: https://reviews.llvm.org/D120727