mm: thp: set THP defrag by default to madvise and add a stall-free defrag option

THP defrag is enabled by default to direct reclaim/compact but not wake
kswapd in the event of a THP allocation failure.  The problem is that
THP allocation requests potentially enter reclaim/compaction.  This
potentially incurs a severe stall that is not guaranteed to be offset by
reduced TLB misses.  While there has been considerable effort to reduce
the impact of reclaim/compaction, it is still a high cost and workloads
that should fit in memory fail to do so.  Specifically, a simple
anon/file streaming workload will enter direct reclaim on NUMA at least
even though the working set size is 80% of RAM.  It's been years and
it's time to throw in the towel.

First, this patch defines THP defrag as follows;

 madvise: A failed allocation will direct reclaim/compact if the application requests it
 never:   Neither reclaim/compact nor wake kswapd
 defer:   A failed allocation will wake kswapd/kcompactd
 always:  A failed allocat...